Who is generally closer to the kids, mom or dad?

(it's a funny riddle)

A word I know,
Six letters contain,
Subtract just one,
And twelve is what remains.

If two's company, and three's a crowd, then whats four and five ?

Why do people go to bed?

Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?

Buy me, smell me or deliver me, I do not change.

Who am I?

A man walked into a pub and went straight towards the Barman. He asked for a dirty martini from the Barman. The Barman thought something and then pulled out a pistol from his drawer and aimed it directly at the man. Why did he do that?

Teacher ask the student

'Why are you standing on that chair in music class ?'.

what did student replied ?

What do you call a fish without an eye?

A sea diver is a real show-off. He showed everyone that he can hold his breath underwater for 15 minutes.

I went to the diver and told him that I can be underwater for double the time i.e 30 minutes.
He responded that he will give me 100$ if I would be able to do it. I won 100$.

What did I do?