By what process could you make a 'Tea-Table' into food?

A man walked into a pub and went straight towards the Barman. He asked for a dirty martini from the Barman. The Barman thought something and then pulled out a pistol from his drawer and aimed it directly at the man. Why did he do that?

What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?

You are on a Boat in the mid of a river. You have two cigarettes with you. One of these two you have to light, how will you light the cigarette?

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

I got a bee but no honey.
got an eye but am still blind.
got a sea but no water.
got a tea but no coffee.
got a why but no answer.

What Am I?

Prove that twice of ten is the same as twice of eleven.

A donkey is behind another donkey
I'm behind that second donkey
But there is a whole nation behind me

It is a murder you can describe in a word.

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

You’ll find me on Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus. But never Neptune, or Venus. What am I?