By what process could you make a 'Tea-Table' into food?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

I speak without a mouth, and hear without ears. I have no-body, but I come alive with the wind. What am I?

A man has eighty-one cows ( numbered 1,2,3...81 as such). The beauty is that cow no. 1 gives 1ltr of milk, cow no. 2 gives 2ltrs of milk and so on. The man wants to equally distribute the cows among his nine sons so that each one of them gets the same quantity of milk.

During which month do people sleep the least?

Name the three-letter word that can complete the below words?

A) L O _ _ _ E
B) E D U _ _ _ E
C) _ _ _ E R
D) _ _ _ T L E

A generous owner of a company decided to give a bonus of $45 to every man and $60 to every woman on his birthday. But only one-ninth of the men and one-twelfth of the women were present to take the bonus.

Can you calculate the amount of money the owner spent if there were 3552 employees?

I have a five and a three-gallon jar. Assuming there is an infinite supply of water, how can I measure one-gallon water?

An ape is trying to climb on a pole that is 60 feet high. Due to the slippery surface, the ape climbs 3 feet in a minute only to slip back 2 feet.

How much time do you think the monkey will take to reach the top of the pole?

I cry without having a voice.
I fly without having wings.
I bite without having teeth.
I whisper without a mouth.

Who am I?