Why are televisions attracted to people?

What kind of band never plays music?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'
The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?'
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

John left on a horse on Thursday , was gone for two days, and came back on Thursday after completing his work. How did that happen?

What can you serve, but never eat?

What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?

I can write cow in 13 letters.

Can You?

Which country gets ill every time?

It's a protector.
It sits on a bridge.
One individual can see directly through it, while others wonder what it hides.

What is it?