Why are televisions attracted to people?

Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

How is the moon similar to a dollar?

He runs but never walks. Murmurs, but never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. And has a mouth, but never eats?

You are a thief and you are being punished for your crime. People have tied your head down on a tree with a rope that has been anchored in the ground. A candle is burning below the rope which is slowly burning it away. Just below your head, a Lion has been left loose and is waiting for you to drop down on the ground so he can have you as his lunch.

You have to survive the scenario. How will you do it?

What do you call a fish without an eye?

It has horns but can’t beep. It is like to bleat but It is not a sheep. What is it?

Who always enjoys poor health?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

How can you tell a raw egg from a hard-boiled egg?