Replace each alphabet with the number (1-9) to make the below equation correct.

AB * C = DE - F = GH / I

One day Jenifer meets the Lion and the Tiger in the Forest of Forgetfulness. She knows that the Lion lies on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and tells the truth on the other days of the week. The Tiger, on the other hand, lies on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, but tells the truth on the other days of the week. Now they make the following statements to Jenifer:

Lion: Yesterday was one of my lying days.

Tiger: Yesterday was one of my lying days too.

What day is it?

Two guards were on duty outside a barracks. One faced up the road to watch for anyone approaching from the North. The other looked down the road to see if anyone approached from the South. Suddenly one of them said to the other, "Why are you smiling?"

How did he know his companion was smiling?

Speaking of rivers, a man calls his dog from the opposite side of the river. The dog crosses the river without getting wet, and without using a bridge or boat. How?

A man says, "Brothers and sisters, have I none, but that man's father is my father's son." Who is that man?

What does this rebus mean?

O
N
C
E
TIME

It comprises roots which nobody sees,
Much taller than those trees,
Up and up it goes,
Still it never grows?

A Doctor always sneezes before the rain. Doctor sneezes, Will it rain?

If 5 cats catch 5 mice in 5 minutes, how long will it take one cat to catch a mouse?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.