what does the below rebus means?

What goes up but never comes down?

Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

A man was convicted of a minor offence in Akbar court. Akbar decided to give him a chance. He asked him to give a statement. If the statement is true, he will be killed by lions and if it is false, he will be killed by trampling of wild elephants.

The convicted person requested help from Birbal and since the crime was not a big one, Birbal decided to help him. Whatever Birbal suggested impressed Kabir and he let the convicted person go.

What did Birbal suggest to the person?

A mad serial killer kidnaps people and forces them to play the game of 2 pills with them, In this game, there are pills in the table and one of them is normal pill while the other one is deadly poisonous.
The victim will choose one pill and the killer will pick the other pill and both simultaneously will swallow the pill with water.
victim dies every time.

One day the serial killer kidnaps the Joseph and forces him to play the same game with him.

Joseph solves the mystery of the two pills and remains alive.

Explain?

Detective Rockford was jogging near the beach at 4:30 am.
He hears a sound near the shack "No Michael, Please Do not shoot me".
Next instance he heard the sound of gunfire. Rockford rushes to the shack where he finds women lying dead and a gun in close proximity of three "Doctore Lawyer and a Teacher".

Rockford immediately knew that the Lawyer has committed the crime. How?

A small town is visited by an ice-cream truck every day. On the first day of February, the truck visits as usual and 5 children, one from each of the first 5 houses on the street buys an ice cream that is of the different flavor from each other along with a completely different topping.

Go through the details below and find out which child lives in which house and bought which ice-cream flavor with which topping:

1. Jim lives between the child who bought the Raspberry topping and the child who bought mango ice cream.

2. Joyce, whose house has an even number, bought the cherry topping. Nancy does not live next to Joyce.

3. The blackcurrant ice cream had no topping.

4. The child who lives in house number 2 had the butterscotch ice cream. The child in house number 3 did not have chocolate ice cream.

5. Mike had banana ice cream. He hates banana cherry.

6. The child who had the cashew topping lives in house number 5. Dustin does not live in house number 4.

Please note that the odd numbered houses and the even numbered houses are located on the exactly opposite sides of the street.

In a basket of apples,
when counted in twos, there was one extra
when counted in threes, there were two extra when counted in fours, there were three extra
when counted in fives, there were four extra
when counted in sixes, there was five extra.

However, if the apples were counted in sevens, no extra apple was left. Can you calculate the minimum number of apples that were present in the basket?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

On the dull night when the blonde was dozing, she heard an odd clamour and she saw that there was a bizarre man with a gun simply outside her home. So she raced to the telephone to call the police, however, she can't dial 911. Why?