John left on a horse on Thursday , was gone for two days, and came back on Thursday after completing his work. How did that happen?

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'
The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?'
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

When is the top of a mountain similar to a savings account?

Rearrange the letters in "new door" to make one word.

Most people think of me as money. But when they find me in the water, they won’t get any money out of me. What am I?

What country can make you shiver?

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

A father is locked up in jail. His wife has gone bankrupt. Their male child has to sell his hotel in order to gain some money. Yet their girl child does not care and is quite happy.

How can someone be so rude?

James bond was pushed out of an aeroplane without any parachute.
He survived, How come?

What is Luis Suarez's (Soccer Player) favorite tea?