Why is Saturday stronger than Monday?

John went to a parrot shop in Mexico, and the parrot owner told him that his parrot is so unique that he repeats everything he hears. John got excited and immediately bought the parrot. John went home and spoke many words, but the parrot does not repeat anything.
He went again to the parrot shop and complaint to the shopkeeper, but the shopkeeper never lied. Explain?

A game is being played where eight players can last for thirty-five minutes. Six substitutes alternate with each player in this game. Thus, all players are on the pitch for the same amount of time including the substitutes.

For how long is each player on the pitch?

My thunder comes before lightning.
My lightning comes before my rain.
My rain dries up all the land it touches.

Who am I?

On a bright sunny day, two fathers took their son fishing in the lake. Each man and son were able to catch one fish. When they returned to their camp, there were only three fishes in the basket. What happened?

PS: None of the fish were eaten, lost, or thrown back.

John is on an island and there are three crates of fruit that have washed up in front of him. One crate contains only apples. One crate contains only oranges. The other crate contains both apples and oranges.

Each crate is labelled. One reads 'apples', one reads 'oranges', and one reads 'apples and oranges'. He know that NONE of the crates have been labeled correctly - they are all wrong.

If he can only take out and look at just one of the pieces of fruit from just one of the crates, how can he label all of the crates correctly?

A bus driver was heading down a street in Mexico. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

John killed hundreds of people mercilessly and yet the police were not able to put her behind the bars. Why?

Manish and Manoj play 5 games of chess.
Both Manish and Manoj win the exact same number of games. There is no tie at all.

How?

You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?