A man walked into a pub and went straight towards the Barman. He asked for a dirty martini from the Barman. The Barman thought something and then pulled out a pistol from his drawer and aimed it directly at the man. Why did he do that?

Which flower has two lips?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

They are the five precious gems of an everyday sort and all can be found on a Tennis Court. Who are they?

Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?

Take number 1000 and then add 20 to it.
Now add 1000 one more time.
Now add 30.
Now add 1000 one more time.
Now add 40.
Now add 1000 one more time.
Now add 10.

What is the total?

What type of tree can I carry in my hand?

Which city is three-fifths chick two third cat and 50% goat?

What has hands, but can’t clap?