You are on a Boat in the mid of a river. You have two cigarettes with you. One of these two you have to light, how will you light the cigarette?

Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

I cry without having a voice.
I fly without having wings.
I bite without having teeth.
I whisper without a mouth.

Who am I?

Mr Red Lives in the red house.
Mr Green Lives in the greenhouse.
Mr Yellow Lives in the yellow house.

Who lives in the Whitehouse?

A California farmer owns a beautiful pear tree. He supplies the fruit to a nearby grocery store. The store owner calls the farmer to see how much fruit is available for him to buy. The farmer knows the main trunk has 24 branches. Each branch has exactly 12 boughs and each bough has exactly 6 twigs. Since each twig bears one piece of fruit, how many plums will the farmer be able to deliver?

John is the son of Jacob.
So,
Jacob is the_____of John's father?

Who is that with a neck and no head, two arms and no hands? What is it?

A father is locked up in jail. His wife has gone bankrupt. Their male child has to sell his hotel in order to gain some money. Yet their girl child does not care and is quite happy.

How can someone be so rude?

A red house is made out of red bricks. A yellow house is made out of yellow bricks. And, a blue house is made out of blue bricks. So, what is a greenhouse made of?