A Japanese ship was en route to a mission on foreign seas. The captain of the ship felt tired and thought of taking a bath. He went for taking the shower and removed his diamond ring and Rolex and kept them on the table. When he returned after taking the bath, he found that the ring and watch were stolen.

He called the five members of the crew whom he suspected and asked them what they were doing for the last 15 minutes.

The Italian cook (with a butcher knife in hand): I was in the fridge room getting meat for cooking.

The British Engineer (with a high beam torch in hand): I was working on a generator engine.

The Pakistani seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.

The Indian Radio officer: I was trying to make a contact with the company to inform them about our position.

The American navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.

Upon listening to them, the captain caught the lying member. Who do you think stole the valuables?

I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole.

What is the last thing you take off before bed?

A tourist visits a small town for his research. While in the town, he decides to get a haircut. Since the town is quite small, there are only two barbers in the town � one on the North Street and one on the South Street. The barbershop on the North Street is a mess and the barber has a weird and pathetic haircut. While the barbershop at the South Street is pretty tidy and the barber as well has an impressive haircut.

Which barbershop will the tourist visit for his haircut and why?

The answer I give is yes, but what I mean is no. What was the question?

Why are all black people so quick ?

There are two arch enemies Messi and Ronaldo who hate each other to an extreme. One day both were going together and a Jeanie appeared in front of them. Jeanie grants 3 wishes to Ronaldo and one to Messi.

Messi replied smartly 'Give me twice whatever Ronaldo demands'.

Ronaldo asked his 1st wish 'Give me 10000 billion dollars. Soon Messi gets 2000 billion dollars.
Ronaldo asked for his 2nd wish 'Give me one mansion in every country in the world. Soon Messi gets two mansions in every country of the world?

What should be Ronaldo's third wish?

If you were to put a coin into an empty bottle and then insert a cork into the neck, how could you remove the coin without taking out the cork or breaking the bottle?

When I asked a girl's name she told me her name is the date '07/09/2001'.

I thought for a few seconds and then I got her name. Do you?

How many cubic feet of dirt are in a hole of one foot deep, three feet long, and two feet wide?