The cream is heavier than Milk. True or False?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

A woman shoots her husband.

Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.

Finally, she hangs him.

But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.

How can this be?

What mathematical symbol can be put between 5 and 9, to get a number bigger than 5 and smaller than 9?

I am the first thing you need while camping.
I am always with the person named Marcos Valencia and Carrick.
But Pogba Zlatan and Rooney think I am wasteful and do not need me.
I am the second to the last thing to add when you are making a patch.

What am I?

You’ll find me on Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus. But never Neptune, or Venus. What am I?

What is next number in the pattern below:

131 517 192 123 ?

On the dull night when the blonde was dozing, she heard an odd clamour and she saw that there was a bizarre man with a gun simply outside her home. So she raced to the telephone to call the police, however, she can't dial 911. Why?

Distances from you to certain cities are written below.

BERLIN 200 miles

PARIS 300 miles

ROME 400 milesAMSTERDAM 300 miles

CARDIFF ??? miles

How far should it be to Cardiff ?

Take away the whole and some still remain. What is it?