A Japanese ship was en route to a mission on foreign seas. The captain of the ship felt tired and thought of taking a bath. He went for taking the shower and removed his diamond ring and Rolex and kept them on the table. When he returned after taking the bath, he found that the ring and watch were stolen.
He called the five members of the crew whom he suspected and asked them what they were doing for the last 15 minutes.
The Italian cook (with a butcher knife in hand): I was in the fridge room getting meat for cooking.
The British Engineer (with a high beam torch in hand): I was working on a generator engine.
The Pakistani seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.
The Indian Radio officer: I was trying to make a contact with the company to inform them about our position.
The American navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.
Upon listening to them, the captain caught the lying member. Who do you think stole the valuables?
One absent-minded ancient philosopher forgot to wind up his only clock in the house. He had no radio, TV, telephone, internet, or any other means for telling time. So he travelled on foot to his friend's place a few miles down the straight desert road. He stayed at his friend's house for the night and when he came back home, he knew how to set his clock. How did he know?
It can't be seen, can't be felt, can't be heard, and can't be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after, Ends life, and kills laughter.
What is it?