What does below rebus means ?

An ape is trying to climb on a pole that is 60 feet high. Due to the slippery surface, the ape climbs 3 feet in a minute only to slip back 2 feet.

How much time do you think the monkey will take to reach the top of the pole?

A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?

There are two words one resembles the "state of rest" and the other is related to "writing/reading material".

Can you name these two words which also sound similar?

It has horns but can’t beep. It is like to bleat but It is not a sheep. What is it?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

A cat, a dog and a monkey were stolen. 3 suspects got caught: Harish, Manoj and Tarun. All we know is each person stole one animal, but we do not know who stole which. Here are the investigation statements. Harish said: Tarun stole the cat. Manoj said: Tarun stole the dog. Tarun said: They both were lying. I did not steal the cat or the dog. Later on, the police found out the man who stole the monkey told a lie. The man who stole the cat told the truth. Can you find out who stole which?

Teacher ask the student

'Why are you standing on that chair in music class ?'.

what did student replied ?

I can write cow in 13 letters.

Can You?