One absent-minded ancient philosopher forgot to wind up his only clock in the house. He had no radio, TV, telephone, internet, or any other means for telling time. So he travelled on foot to his friend's place a few miles down the straight desert road. He stayed at his friend's house for the night and when he came back home, he knew how to set his clock. How did he know?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

What goes up but never comes down?

John went to buy some expensive, foreign chocolates. He only had Rs 100 with him. When he reached the shop, he got out and know that on those chocolates, there was a 15% import duty and 5% VAT.

How much worth chocolate should he buy so that he can accommodate it in Rs 100?

Solve the equation in the image by looking at the pattern closely.

John was a very careless driver, so his owner Jacob gave him an offer that he will get an incentive of Rs.30 for every bottle box he delivered without breaking it and he will be charged Rs.90 for every bottle box he broke. Jacob gave John 100 bottles-box to deliver. After delivery, Jacob paid John Rs.2400. How many bottles-box did John break?

What is harder to catch the faster you run?

If,

20 % 5 = 24

21 % 7 = 33

42 % 6 = 67

Then;

66 % 6 = ?

You find yourself in a strange place guarded by two guards.One of the guard always say truth while other always lies.You don't know the identity of the two.You can ask only one question to go out from there. What should you ask?

If 1+9+8=1, what is 2+8+9?