I come in different shapes and sizes.
Parts of me are curved, other parts are straight.
You can put me anywhere you like,
but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?

Once upon a time, there was a bus conductor who was extremely rude to all the passengers. On a certain day, a young and charming lady tried boarding the bus. But he did not stop the bus. As a result, the girl came under the bus and was killed. The agitated passengers took the conductor to the police station. The police took him to the court for trial. In the court, the judge gave him death sentence.

He is then taken to the electrocution chamber. In that room, there is a chair in the center of the room and a banana peel lies just behind the chair. The conductor is strapped to that chair and is being exposed to a high voltage current. But to everyone�s surprise, he is able to survive through the current that is enough to kill two people at once. The judge decides that it is a miracle and sets the conductor free.

The conductor then returns back to his profession. After a few months, a middle aged lady tries to board the bus. The conductor does not stop the bus and as a result the lady gets run over by the bus which kills her on the spot. The agitated passengers take him to the police. The police takes him to the court for the trial. In the court, the judge decides for capital punishment for the conductor.

The conductor is taken to the electrocution chamber again. In that chamber, there is a chair in the middle of the room and a banana peel lies behind the chair. He is strapped to the chair and exposed to a high voltage. To everyone�s surprise, he survives again. Thus, the judge sets him free.

The conductor returns back to his profession. After a few months. An old lady tries to board the bus. The bus conductor after remembering his previous actions, stops the bus. But unfortunately, the old lady slips while climbing up the bus and dies due to his injuries. The passengers take him to the police again. The police takes him back to the court. Though the judge knows that he is not guilty, he sentences him to death knowing his previous record.

The conductor is taken to the electrocution chamber again. He is strapped to the chair in the center of the room behind which, there is a banana peel. He is exposed to the current and this time he is killed instantly.

Why did he die this time and not the previous times?

John said, "If yesterday was tomorrow, today would be Friday."

When did John make this statement?

If two's company, and three's a crowd, then whats four and five ?

Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

One night, a woman receives a call from the police. They tell her that her husband was murdered and that she should come to the crime scene as soon as possible. The woman drops the phone, shocked, and drives 20 minutes to the crime scene. As soon as she reaches the crime scene, the police arrest her and she is convicted of murder. How do the police know she committed the crime?

There are people and strange monkeys on this island, and you can not tell who is who (Edit: until you understand what they said - see below). They speak either only the truth or only lies.
Who are the following two guys?
A: B is a lying monkey. I am human.
B: A is telling the truth.

The Federal bank of London is abducted by the robbers. The head of the robbers asked the cashier to empty their money vault to them and when suddenly cashier got a call from her father. To avoid any suspicion, the robber asked the cashier to pick the call and reply her father in the shortest manner possible.

The cashier told her father "Is there an emergency father, Call me when you are free and I will help you in your furnishing" and then the cashier hung up the phone.

After 10 minutes, police arrived at the crime scene.

How did the police know about the robbery?

Can you solve the below algebraic mathematical equation?

(J+O+I+N+T)3 = JOINT