What is the longest word in the dictionary?

Which flower has two lips?

Once upon a time, there was a bus conductor who was extremely rude to all the passengers. On a certain day, a young and charming lady tried boarding the bus. But he did not stop the bus. As a result, the girl came under the bus and was killed. The agitated passengers took the conductor to the police station. The police took him to the court for trial. In the court, the judge gave him death sentence.

He is then taken to the electrocution chamber. In that room, there is a chair in the center of the room and a banana peel lies just behind the chair. The conductor is strapped to that chair and is being exposed to a high voltage current. But to everyone�s surprise, he is able to survive through the current that is enough to kill two people at once. The judge decides that it is a miracle and sets the conductor free.

The conductor then returns back to his profession. After a few months, a middle aged lady tries to board the bus. The conductor does not stop the bus and as a result the lady gets run over by the bus which kills her on the spot. The agitated passengers take him to the police. The police takes him to the court for the trial. In the court, the judge decides for capital punishment for the conductor.

The conductor is taken to the electrocution chamber again. In that chamber, there is a chair in the middle of the room and a banana peel lies behind the chair. He is strapped to the chair and exposed to a high voltage. To everyone�s surprise, he survives again. Thus, the judge sets him free.

The conductor returns back to his profession. After a few months. An old lady tries to board the bus. The bus conductor after remembering his previous actions, stops the bus. But unfortunately, the old lady slips while climbing up the bus and dies due to his injuries. The passengers take him to the police again. The police takes him back to the court. Though the judge knows that he is not guilty, he sentences him to death knowing his previous record.

The conductor is taken to the electrocution chamber again. He is strapped to the chair in the center of the room behind which, there is a banana peel. He is exposed to the current and this time he is killed instantly.

Why did he die this time and not the previous times?

An ape is trying to climb on a pole that is 60 feet high. Due to the slippery surface, the ape climbs 3 feet in a minute only to slip back 2 feet.

How much time do you think the monkey will take to reach the top of the pole?

John and his wife were living in a rural place. On a particular day, John's wife fell ill and he called the local doctor. When the doctor picked up, he said, "Doctor, my wife is ill. She might have appendicitis."

"This can't be possible! I took out her appendix two years ago myself," the doctor explained.

When diagnosed, John's wife was found to have appendicitis. How can this be possible?

The peacock is a bird that does not lay eggs. How do they get baby peacocks?

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'
The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?'
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

I am a mother. However, I never give birth.

I am a father. However, I never nurse my children.

Wandering is not possible for me, but standing still happens occurs rarely.

Who am I?

An infinite number of mathematicians are standing behind a bar. The first asks the barman for half a pint of beer, the second for a quarter pint, the third an eighth, and so on. How many pints of beer will the barman need to fulfill all mathematicians' wishes?

Why are televisions attracted to people?