What is the longest word in the dictionary?

John gave half of the apples he had plus one more to Jacob. He gave half of the remaining ones plus one more to James. Now, John was left with just one apple.

Can you find out how many did he have in the beginning?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

There are are five things wrong with this sentence; only geniuses will be able to to spot all of the mitstakes

The peacock is a bird that does not lay eggs. How do they get baby peacocks?

A man plots the murder of his wife. His plan is full proof. Nobody saw them leaving their house. He stabbed her with a knife while driving. She died on the spot. He threw her body in a valley. He threw the knife carefully wiping his finger prints on a random garbage bin. Then he went back to his home and no one was watching him this time as well.

After an hour, he was called by the local police department who informed him that his wife was murdered. They asked him to reach the scene of crime immediately. But as soon as he arrived at the crime scene, he was arrested by them.

How did the police know that he himself is the murderer?

Who has married many women but was never married?

If one and a half boys, eat one and a half burgers in one and a half hours.

How many burgers can 9 boys eat in 3 hours?

500 women soldiers are arranged in an array of ten rows and fifty columns in accordance with their respective heights. Now, the tallest woman from each row is asked to move out in the front. From them, the shortest one is labelled as Alpha. They are then asked to resume their original position.

Now, the shortest woman in each column is asked to come out in front. The tallest among them is labelled as Beta.

Can you find out if Alpha will be taller or Beta?

The horse jumps over the king.
Strangely there is absolutely no scratch on him.

Can anyone explain, how is this possible?