Funny Riddles

There are 3 apples in the basket and you take away 2. How many apples do you have now?

What 5-letter word typed in all capital letters can be read the same upside down?

You are stuck on an island where you have nothing. You find four pieces of paper somewhere on the island. What will be your strategy to escape from the island safely?

PS: No other resource is available to you on the island, neither can you build anything.

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

A blonde put eyeliner on her head. Why?

Find the smallest sentence with all the English alphabet.

Different lights make me strange by changing me into different sizes. What am I?

I am never scared but became petrified and can’t live in a house but would die to make one. What am I?

The answer I give is yes, but what I mean is no. What was the question?