Can you decipher the below rebus?

PBLUESAISNUERSES

Two friends decide to get together; so they start riding bikes towards each other. They plan to meet halfway. Each is riding at 6 MPH. They live 36 miles apart. One of them has a pet carrier pigeon and it starts flying the instant the friends start traveling. The pigeon flies back and forth at 18 MPH between the 2 friends until the friends meet.

How many miles does the pigeon travel?

Can you decipher these quotes by Albert Einstein?
Blf xzm mvevi hloev z kilyovn lm gsv ovevo lm dsrxs rg dzh xivzgvw.

How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?

A man walked into a pub and went straight towards the Barman. He asked for a dirty martini from the Barman. The Barman thought something and then pulled out a pistol from his drawer and aimed it directly at the man. Why did he do that?

I am the first thing you need while camping.
I am always with the person named Marcos Valencia and Carrick.
But Pogba Zlatan and Rooney think I am wasteful and do not need me.
I am the second to the last thing to add when you are making a patch.

What am I?

There's a day, that comes around once a year.
To celebrate the man, you hold dear.
He gave you life, love and will pick you up if you fall.
When it comes to guys like him, He's the best of all.
Who is he?

A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

Move four matchsticks to the below square to form three squares?

John and his wife were living in a rural place. On a particular day, John's wife fell ill and he called the local doctor. When the doctor picked up, he said, "Doctor, my wife is ill. She might have appendicitis."

"This can't be possible! I took out her appendix two years ago myself," the doctor explained.

When diagnosed, John's wife was found to have appendicitis. How can this be possible?