What you cannot hold but it is yours?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

Can you move 2 matchsticks to form four equal sized squares.

John needs to purchase 100 chocolates from three different shops and he has exactly 100 rupees to do that which he must spend entirely. He must buy at least 1 Chocolate from each shop.

The first shop is selling each chocolate at 5 paise, the second is selling at 1 rupee and the third is selling at 5 rupees.

How many chocolates should he buy from each shop?

Two batsman each on 94 runs. Seven runs needed to win in last 3 balls. Both make 100*. How?

Begin with a word, five letters to my name,
Remove the first and last but I am the same
Take out my middle and still, I remain.
What word am I?

My first is in chocolate but not in ham. My second is in cake and also in jam. My third at tea time is easily found. Altogether, this is a friend who is often around. What is it?

Below, you can see some coding:
January = 1017
February = 628
March = 1335
April = 145
May = 1353
June = 1064
July = 1074
August = 186

Now deciphering the way it has been coded, can you find out how September will be coded?

In a kingdom, King George did not allow any citizen to visit the world outside. Also, only a person with proper paperwork was allowed to enter or he was sent back. A wooden bridge was what connected the kingdom to the world. The king had appointed a sharpshooter who would check the every five minutes on the bridge to check. After checking, he would go back to his hut and return exactly after five minutes again. The bridge took 9 minutes to cross.

A merchant was able to escape the kingdom without harming the shooter. How?

You need to arrange three 7 and mathematical symbols to form number 1?