What does this Rebus Picture mean?

John said, "If yesterday was tomorrow, today would be Friday."

When did John make this statement?

What kind of band never plays music?

I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone and cities with no buildings. What am I?

Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15. They each contribute $5. The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognises the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.

The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.

Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14. Where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?

What is the word or phrase?

What does the following represent?

N N N N N N N

A A A A A A A

C C C C C C C

A and B have a certain number of chocolates with them. If B gives one chocolate to A, they will have an equal number of chocolates. But if A gives one chocolate to B, then A will be left with half the number of chocolates that B has.

Can you find out the number of chocolates they have right now?

Sherlock breaks into a crime scene. The victim is the owner who is slumped dead on a chair and have a bullet hole in his head. A gun lies on the floor and a cassette recorder is found on the table. On pressing the play button, Sherlock hears the message 'I have committed sins in my life and now I offer my soul to the great Lord' and followed a gunshot Sherlock smiles and informed the police that's its a murder.

Why did he think so?

I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?