A prisoner is told: "If you tell a lie, we will hang you and if you tell the truth, we will shoot you." What did the prisoner say to save himself?

John went to meet his friend Jacob, but when he was about to reach the main gate, John notices that Jacob had a mighty dog who was fastened to the tree. The chain is long enough that it allows the dog to reach the main gate.

How can the John reach the main gate?

I never stop running even when I standstill. If I am formed by joining two identical bodies together, can you guess who I am?

There are two insects on a tile. Insect X is sitting on one side of the tile (point A) and Insect Y is sitting opposite on the other side of the tile (point B). Now both of them decide to change their position and thus X starts crawling to point B and Y starts crawling to point A. When they meet and pass each other in between, X takes 20 seconds to reach B and Y takes just 5 seconds to reach A.

Can you calculate the total time each of the insects took to change their positions?

John asked Jack, "The time right now is 7 pm. Can you tell me what will be the time 23, 999, 995 hours later ?"

While Bella does not know the answer, do you ?

There are hundred red gems and hundred blue gems. The blue gems are priceless while the red gems equal wastage. You have two sacks one labeled Heads and the other Tails. You have to distribute the gems as you want in the two sacks. Then a coin will be flipped and you will be asked to pick up a gem randomly from the corresponding sacks.

How will you distribute the gems between the sacks so that the odds of picking a Blue gem are maximum?

John was driving a bus and got stuck when passing through an underpass. Then came Jacob with a needle and got the bus out of the underpass.

What did the boy do?

Mother's Name is Mrs. SIXTY TWO
Son's Name is FIFTY TWO
Daughter's Name is FORTY TWO
What is Name of Father?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

It belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do. What is it?