A prisoner is told: "If you tell a lie, we will hang you and if you tell the truth, we will shoot you." What did the prisoner say to save himself?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

what does this below rebus represent identXQQQQQME

Find the missing number in the sequence below:

The more you take me, the more you leave me behind.
Who Am I?

Jack have ten pairs of black socks, eight pairs of white socks and seven pairs of green socks. Everything is mixed in a draw. As there is no light he were not able to identify the colour of the socks. How many of the socks did he want to take to match one pair

The measurement of time, That can't be found on a clock, But can be looked upon on a map.

Who is He ?

A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

Can you solve the below algebraic mathematical equation?

(J+O+I+N+T)3 = JOINT

I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip but I do get involved with everyone's dirty business.