Why are televisions attracted to people?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

People put me on the table and cut me but do not eat me. What am I?

James bond was pushed out of an aeroplane without any parachute.
He survived, How come?

An express train takes 3 seconds to enter the tunnel which is 1 km long.
If it is travelling at 120 km an hour, how long will it take to pass completely through the tunnel?

What is the word or phrase?

Can you count the number of matches in the picture below ?

The two towns are exactly 100 km apart. John leaves City A driving at 30 km/hr and Jacob leaves City B half an hour later driving at 60 km/hr. Who will be closer to City A when they meet?

In The 1st month of this year(the year 2013), I noticed that the date 13-1-13 (13 January 2013) is special.

This date is special as:

Date * Month = Year.

Can you figure out which year of this century has a maximum number of such dates?

A man in a car saw a Golden Door, Silver Door and a Bronze Door. What door did he open first?