Replace the question mark with the correct number, given the pair of numbers exhibits a similar relationship?

? : 3839 :: 11 : 1209

I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?

Can you write down eight eights so that they add up to one thousand?

If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?

There are five vowels (a, e, i, o, u) in the English language.
Can you tell us a word that contains all these vowels?

Can you find the next number in the below sequence
3 , 7 , 10 , 11 , 12 , 17 ?

It comprises roots which nobody sees,
Much taller than those trees,
Up and up it goes,
Still it never grows?

I look flat, but I am deep. Hidden realms I shelter. Lives I take, but the food I offer. At times I am beautiful. I can be calm, angry, and turbulent. I have no heart but offer pleasure as well as death. No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have. What am I?

John was so frustrated to be the suspect of being a sleeper terrorist that he shoot himself right between the eyes with a revolver in his toilet. The revolver and the bullets were accurate. Minutes later John walks out of the toilet unharmed.
How can this be possible?

A thief is convicted in Mexico. He gets the death penalty. The judge allows him to say the last sentence to determine how the penalty will be carried out. If the thief lies, he will be hanged, if he speaks the truth he will be beheaded. The thief tells the last sentence and to everybody's surprise some minutes later he is set free because the judge cannot determine his penalty. What did the thief say?