What does does this rebus picture means ?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

Complete the given grid with valid words. You can only use the letters AAEEIIMMPPTT.

Hint: The grid reads the same across as down.

You have a three-gallon and a five-gallon measuring device. You wish to measure out four gallons.

What's a single-digit number with no value?

An inspection by the superintendent of St. Joseph School was scheduled on the next day. The class teacher Jenifer knew that he would be asking questions from her class and she would have to choose a pupil to answer. To offer a perfect impression over him, the teacher explained certain instructions to the students to maximise the chances of getting correct answer every time.

What did she say to the students?

The host of a game show, offers the guest a choice of three doors. Behind one is a expensive car, but behind the other two are goats.
After you have chosen one door, he reveals one of the other two doors behind which is a goat (he wouldn't reveal a car).

Now he gives you the chance to switch to the other unrevealed door or stay at your initial choice. You will then get what is behind that door.

You cannot hear the goats from behind the doors, or in any way know which door has the prize.

Should you stay, or switch, or doesn't it matter?

Can you name some countries which do not have the alphabet 'A' in them?

As a whole I am both
safe and secure.

Behead me and I become
a place of meeting.

Behead me again and I am
the partner of ready.

Restore me, and I become
the domain of beasts.

What am I?

There is a family that live in a round house. The two parents go out for a movie and leave a babysitter to watch their son. They come back and the kid was not there. Some one kidnapped him. The maid said she was cleaning in a corner. The cook said he was making pizza. The babysitter said she was getting a board game. Who kidnapped him.