I am a mother. However, I never give birth.

I am a father. However, I never nurse my children.

Wandering is not possible for me, but standing still happens occurs rarely.

Who am I?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

James ordered a fishing rod, priced at $3.56. Unfortunately, James is an Eskimo who lives in a very remote part of Greenland and the import rules forbid any package longer than 4 feet to be imported. The fishing rod was 4 feet and 1 inch, just a little too long, so how can the fishing rod be mailed to James without breaking the rules? Ideally James would like the fishing rod to arrive in one piece!

A famous swimmer can swim downstream in a lake in exactly 40 minutes with the lake current.
He can swim upstream in that lake in exactly 60 minutes against the lake current.
The length of the lake is 2 km.

How long he can cover the distance of one side at a still lake with no current?

There are two dice with empty faces in front of you and a marker. You can mark any number on each of the faces of the two dice, but you have to display all 31 days of the month using the two of them.

Which numbers will you mark on which dice so that you can easily depict all the dates of the month?

John can eat 27 chocolates in an hour, Jacob can eat 2 chocolates in 10 minutes, and Jolly can eat 7 chocolates in 20 minutes. How long will it take them to share and eat a box of 120 chocolates whilst playing Chess?

Two friends were stuck in a cottage. They had nothing to do and thus they started playing cards. Suddenly the power went off and Friend 1 inverted the position of 15 cards in the normal deck of 52 cards and shuffled it. Now he asked Friend 2 to divide the cards into two piles (need not be equal) with equal number of cards facing up. The room was quite dark and Friend 2 could not see the cards. He thinks for a while and then divides the cards in two piles.

On checking, the count of cards facing up is same in both the piles. How could Friend 2 have done it ?

I can write cow in 13 letters.

Can You?

Count the number of triangles in the picture below:

Five teams were competing in cricket where they faced each other exactly once. After the tournament, the following is the point table.

DareDevils 6
SuperKings 5
Royals 4
Sunrisers 2
Riders ?

How many points did Riders end up with?