Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

f you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

A pond had 60 fish, out of which, all but 20 died.
How many fishes are now present in that pond?

Below rebus represent famous DiCaprio movie. Can you name it?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

John and his wife were living in a rural place. On a particular day, John's wife fell ill and he called the local doctor. When the doctor picked up, he said, "Doctor, my wife is ill. She might have appendicitis."

"This can't be possible! I took out her appendix two years ago myself," the doctor explained.

When diagnosed, John's wife was found to have appendicitis. How can this be possible?

Andrew’s doctor gives him three pills and tells him to take one every half hour. How much time will have passed by the time Andrew’s taken all three pills?

Can you find the hidden animal in the picture below?

A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?

Suppose that you are trapped on the surface of a frozen lake. The surface is so smooth and ideal that there is no friction at all. You cant make any grip on the ice and no wind is blowing to help you out. You have just a mobile phone with you which has got no reception disabling you to call for help.

How will you plan your escape before you freeze to death on the frozen lake?