Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

Can you find the key in the picture below?

Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?

There is a family that live in a round house. The two parents go out for a movie and leave a babysitter to watch their son. They come back and the kid was not there. Some one kidnapped him. The maid said she was cleaning in a corner. The cook said he was making pizza. The babysitter said she was getting a board game. Who kidnapped him.

John was visiting his friend Jacob. He found out that his friend's wife had just killed a burglar in self-defense.
John asks Jacob about what happened and he told that "His wife was watching television when suddenly the bell rang. She thought that it is her husband Jacob but she found the burglar who attacked her instantly and she got so frightened that she killed the burglar immediately with the knife.
John asked the police to arrest his friend's wife. Why?

Double it and multiply it by 4. Then divide it by 8 and you’ll have it once more. What number is it?

I have branches, but no fruit, trunk or leaves. What am I?

It's pretty hard to give up.
If you remove a part of it, you will be left with a bit.
Even if you remove another part, the bit still remains.
Remove one more and it still remains.

What is it?

Do You See It?

A man lives on the fifteenth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator, or if it was raining that day, he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up five flights of stairs to his apartment. Can you explain why he does this?