Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

Tarang football website was hacked by one of the players. Jack, the coach of Tarang has pointed out five players as the possible hacker.
Each suspected player made three statements from each suspected player and out of which two are true and one is false.

Joseph
A) I have not hacked the website.
B) I know nothing about hacking.
C) John did it.

Hazard
A) I have not hacked the website.
B) The website was attacked by one of the players.
C) I hate Shelly

Remy
A) I have not hacked the website.
B) I have never seen Oscar in my entire life.
C) I am sure John did it.

John
A) I have not hacked the website.
B) I am sure Oscar did it.
C) Joseph was lying when he said he did it.

Oscar
A) I have not hacked the website.
B) I am sure Hazard did it.
C) I used to be friend with Remy.

So who hacked the website?

You walk into a room where there are three primates held in their respective cages:
1) A lion who is eating the flesh of a goat.
2) An orangutan who is playing with blocks.
3) A donkey who is sitting idle.

Who is the most intelligent primate in the room?

What Does this text mean:

important=important

You are on your way to visit your Friend, who lives at the end of the hill. It is his birthday, and you want to give him the cakes you have made. Between your house and his house, you have to cross 5 bridges, and as it goes in the land of make believe, there is a troll under every bridge! Each troll, quite rightly, insists that you pay a troll toll. Before you can cross their bridge, you have to give them half of the cakes you are carrying, but as they are kind trolls, they each give you back a single cake. How many cakes do you have to leave home to make sure that you arrive at a friend's house with exactly two

A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

You’re out on the water and see a boat filled with people. You look away for a second and look back again, but this time you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why? Hint: The boat did not sink.

Can you identify the famous TV character from the rebus below?

We know that money can be names differently for the purpose it is used for. Some of the examples of money given at following places or for following activities:

In temple = Daan
In school = Fees
During marriage = Dowry
For divorce = Alimony
Paying government = Tax
In court = Fine
Employer to employee = Salary
To kidnappers = Ransom
For illegal reason = Bribe
To civil servant retirees = Pension

Do you know what do we call the money a husband gives to his wife?

A dying old man wants to divide his entire land between his only two sons. Since his only wish is to treat them as equal as both of them have been too good to him, he wants to divide his land equally between them. The problem is that the land is significantly irregular in shape and thus there is no choice of cutting them into two equal halves.

Can you help him divide the land in a manner that both of his sons will be happy?