There's a day, that comes around once a year.
To celebrate the man, you hold dear.
He gave you life, love and will pick you up if you fall.
When it comes to guys like him, He's the best of all.
Who is he?

I was speeding and ran through a stop sign, yet two traffic officers who were there do nothing about it.

why?

What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand?

The great emperor Akbar once ruled India. He was well known for his intelligence. But along with that, he was known for the Nine Gems in his court. One of the nine gems was Birbal, a quick witted and extremely intelligent man. The stories of his wit were widely popular.

Once a king ruling in a distant land heard of Birbal. To check his wit, he sent an invitation and called him to visit his land. Akbar allowed Birbal to go and he took off on the journey.

Upon reaching that kings kingdom, he was welcomed with flowers. He was then escorted to the palace of the king. Upon entering the palace, Birbal found that there were six people sitting in front of him adorning the same robe. They were also lookalike and it was hard to judge who the real king was.

After a couple of minutes, Birbal approached one of them and bowed in front of him greeting him.

That was the real king. How did Birbal know who was the real king ?

I throw two dice simultaneously.

What is the probability of getting a sum as 9 of the two numbers shown?

Can you find a number that lies one third of the distance between 1/3 and 2/3?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

Two guards were on duty outside a barracks. One faced up the road to watch for anyone approaching from the North. The other looked down the road to see if anyone approached from the South. Suddenly one of them said to the other, "Why are you smiling?"

How did he know his companion was smiling?

I am a mother. However, I never give birth.

I am a father. However, I never nurse my children.

Wandering is not possible for me, but standing still happens occurs rarely.

Who am I?

You walk into a room and see a bed. On the bed, there are two dogs, five cats, a giraffe, six cows, and a goose. There are also three doves flying above the bed. How many legs are on the floor?