I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole.

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone and cities with no buildings. What am I?

A police officer was passing by when he saw a guy hiding. He walked up to him and genially asked, "What is your name?"

"Shut up!" the boy responded.

"Where are your manners?" asked the outraged police officer.

"Up that tree," said the boy discourteously, directing to a neighbouring tree.

You're looking for trouble, aren't you?" said the police officer.

"No, trouble is looking for me!" the boy answered solemnly.

Why is the boy behaving like this?

A guy in his thirties is found dead in a forest. The shocking thing about the body is that he is wearing his swimming trunks snorkel and a facemask.

For your information, the nearest lake is some 10 miles away and the sea is hundreds of miles away.

How did he die then?

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

There was a kingdom in which the king had no heir to take over his thrown. Even the queen was dead and he himself was on the verge of dying. He thought about it and then summoned all of the teenagers. He gave one seed each to all of them and asked them to grow the plant. He announced that the one with the most beautiful plant will become the king/queen of the empire after the death of the king.

After a month, all of them were called. The king looked at all of the plants but announced the girl with an empty pot as the queen of the empire. Why?

Eight Chelsea player makes the following statements :

1. Seven of us are lying here.
2. Six of us are lying here.
3. Five of us are lying here.
4. Five of us are lying here.
5. Four of us are lying here.
6. Three of us are lying here.
7. My name is Torres.
8. My name is Lampard.

The last two are Lampard and Torres or maybe Torres and Lampard.
So can you deduce which of the last two is Lampard or Torres?

In the Thar desert, 3 men found a big 24L Jar is full of water. Since there is a shortage of water so they decided to distribute the water among themselves such that they all have equal amounts of it. But they only have a 13L, a 5L and an 11-litre Jar.

How do they do it?