Can you write down eight eights so that they add up to one thousand?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

What kind of storm is always in a rush?

I have lakes with no water, mountains with no stone and cities with no buildings. What am I?

Given below is simple addition with a defined pattern pattern:
7 + 7 = 2
8 + 8 = 4
8 + 5 = 1
6 + 9 = 3
10 + 11 = 9

Can you analyze the pattern and find out the answer for:

4 + 9 = ?

Lifeless eyes on my smiling face and watch your child's sleeping place. In their dreams they hold me tight. What am I?

It walks on 4 when its young, walks on 2 when it's older, and walks on 3 when its very old?

I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?

I am sure no one can have two things for dinner. what are they?

Can you count the number of quadrilaterals in the picture below?