Who is generally closer to the kids, mom or dad?

(it's a funny riddle)

Two friends were betting. One said to the other, "The coin will be flipped twenty times and each time the coin lands on the head, I will give you $2 and each time it lands on the tale, you will give me $3." After flipping the coin twenty times not a single penny was exchanged among them.

How many times did the coin land on heads?

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'
The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?'
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

John has eleven friends. He has a bowl containing eleven apples. Now He wants to divide the eleven apples among his friends, in such a way that an apple should remain in his bowl.
How can He do it?

A bomb exploded in a room full of married couples and no one died. How?

It is Secret Agent Bond Girl Friend's birthday but he is on a secret mission

Mr Bond has a secret device by which he can only use the below words for sending the message.

Dumbo, Nazi, Carrot, Ronda, Zambia, Racing, TinTin, Seou, Zareeba, Laltain, Saphire, Tar, Orphan, Audition, Biscotti.

Mr Bond sends the following message to her girlfriend:
Carrot Dumbo Nazi Racing Ronda Zambia TinTin Seou Laltain Zareeba Tar Biscotti Orphan Audition Snake

What does Mr. Bond's Message say?

You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?

The richest man in the city Mr Rechard is kidnapped. James Bond is appointed to the case. At the crime scene, a note is found written by Mr Richard. The note read:

"First of January, Fourth of October, Fifth of March, Third of June."

James Bond knew that somehow, the killer's name was hidden in the note. The following were the suspects:

Jack Richard, the son and the heir of property.
John Jacobson, the employee of Richard.
June Richard, the wife of Richard.

James Bond took only a few moments to deduce the killer's name. Can you tell who was the killer?

Can you guess the name of the month by looking the below rebus ?

In a science lab, a petri dish hosts a healthy colony of yeast for an experiment. Now every minute, all the yeast cells divide into two. At noon, there was just a single cell of yeast and at 1:22, the Petri dish was half full. Can you calculate when the dish will be full of yeast?