Who is generally closer to the kids, mom or dad?

(it's a funny riddle)

That attorney is my brother, testified the accountant.

But the attorney testified he didn't have a brother.

Who is lying?

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees that the man next to him is extremely rich. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'
The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?'
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

Find out the missing number in the picture attached:

An infinite number of mathematicians are standing behind a bar. The first asks the barman for half a pint of beer, the second for a quarter pint, the third an eighth, and so on. How many pints of beer will the barman need to fulfill all mathematicians' wishes?

In The 1st month of this year(the year 2013), I noticed that the date 13-1-13 (13 January 2013) is special.

This date is special as:

Date * Month = Year.

Can you figure out which year of this century has a maximum number of such dates?

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

How can you write nineteen in a manner that if we take out one, it becomes twenty?

John Went to the nearby store in a Mall to buy something for her home. Below is the conversation between the two:

John: How much for the one?
Shopkeeper: It is $2
John: How much for the Eleven?
Shopkeeper: It is $4
John: How much for the Hundred?
Shopkeeper: It is $6.

What is John buying?

Take away the whole and some still remain. What is it?