Who is generally closer to the kids, mom or dad?

(it's a funny riddle)

John buys rice at Rs.60/kg from Britain and then sells them at Rs.5/kg in India. As a result of this, he becomes a millionaire. How come?

John went to a parrot shop in Mexico, and the parrot owner told him that his parrot is so unique that he repeats everything he hears. John got excited and immediately bought the parrot. John went home and spoke many words, but the parrot does not repeat anything.
He went again to the parrot shop and complaint to the shopkeeper, but the shopkeeper never lied. Explain?

Can you find out the remainder when 3^300 is divided by 5?

What is the word or phrase?

Suppose that you are trapped on the surface of a frozen lake. The surface is so smooth and ideal that there is no friction at all. You cant make any grip on the ice and no wind is blowing to help you out. You have just a mobile phone with you which has got no reception disabling you to call for help.

How will you plan your escape before you freeze to death on the frozen lake?

Why do you find that most of the buildings are deprived of the 13th floor?

A blonde put eyeliner on her head. Why?

How can you make number one disappear by adding something to it?

A Japanese ship was en route to a mission on foreign seas. The captain of the ship felt tired and thought of taking a bath. He went for taking the shower and removed his diamond ring and Rolex and kept them on the table. When he returned after taking the bath, he found that the ring and watch were stolen.

He called the five members of the crew whom he suspected and asked them what they were doing for the last 15 minutes.

The Italian cook (with a butcher knife in hand): I was in the fridge room getting meat for cooking.

The British Engineer (with a high beam torch in hand): I was working on a generator engine.

The Pakistani seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.

The Indian Radio officer: I was trying to make a contact with the company to inform them about our position.

The American navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.

Upon listening to them, the captain caught the lying member. Who do you think stole the valuables?