Who is generally closer to the kids, mom or dad?

(it's a funny riddle)

I sleep during the day and fly at night, but I have no feathers to aid my flight. What am I?

On the dull night when the blonde was dozing, she heard an odd clamour and she saw that there was a bizarre man with a gun simply outside her home. So she raced to the telephone to call the police, however, she can't dial 911. Why?

Spot what is wrong here in below Picture?

What will you call your mother's brother's brother-in-law?

Tell me the Hindi name of a Vegetable which if we remove 1st word will become a precious Stone and by removing the last word it will become a sweet eatable.

Until it is measured, not known. Yet how you miss it when it has gone. What is it?

You have a roll of cloth 1km long. You have a machine which cuts this roll into pieces of 10-meter-long cloth.

How long would it take for the machine to cut the roll if each cut took 4 secs?

While house hunting in London, I came across a very good leasehold property Discussing the lease the landlady told me:

'The property was originally on a 99 years lease and two-thirds of the time passed is equal to four-fifths of the time to come. Now work it out for yourself and see how many years are to go!

I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?