A bus driver was heading down a street in Mexico. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

My thunder comes before the lightning; my lightning comes before clouds; my rain dries all the land it touches. What am I?

Assume the given figure to be a delicious doughnut. Yes, now you can concentrate more on the puzzle. So you have this delicious doughnut in your refrigerator when your friends come knocking at the door. There are eight of them. Now you have to make three cuts in this doughnut so that each one of you nine people can enjoy a piece of it. Neither you nor your friends would mind the size of their piece as long as they are getting it. How will you do it?

Eight Chelsea player makes the following statements :

1. Seven of us are lying here.
2. Six of us are lying here.
3. Five of us are lying here.
4. Five of us are lying here.
5. Four of us are lying here.
6. Three of us are lying here.
7. My name is Torres.
8. My name is Lampard.

The last two are Lampard and Torres or maybe Torres and Lampard.
So can you deduce which of the last two is Lampard or Torres?

On the dull night when the blonde was dozing, she heard an odd clamour and she saw that there was a bizarre man with a gun simply outside her home. So she raced to the telephone to call the police, however, she can't dial 911. Why?

As easy as you can get into me, it is as hard to get out of me.

Do you know what I am?

You have three orange, two pink and five purple balls in the drawer beside your bed. There is no electricity and the room is entirely dark. How many balls must you take out to ensure at least one ball of each colour at least?

If I put in one canary per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two canaries per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and canaries do I have?

Kohli and Dhoni decided to have a paintball match.
Kohli told Dhoni, "Sir it is not right as you got thrice the paintballs I have".

Dhoni instantly gives Kohli 10 hit paintballs.
Kohli replied, "Sir, I believe you still have twice the paintballs than I have".

Dhoni gives "?" more paintballs to Kohli.
Kohli replied, "Sir it is even now, Let us have a match".

What is "?".