What does this rebus means ?

PROG WORKRESS

Two guards were guarding the camp.Guard-1 was looking towards the south to make sure no threat is coming from the road.Guard-2 was looking at the north to make sure no threat is coming from the top. Suddenly Guard-1 ask the Guard-2 why he is smiling?How Guard-1 knows that Guard-2 is smiling?

Chef Andrea has to light the kitchen stoves to open her restaurant for the day. There are three stoves in the kitchen: A glass stove, a brick stove, and a wood stove. She only has one match. Which does she light up first?

When it is alive we sing, when it is dead we clap our hands. What is it?

Chhote se Chintu Miyan,
Lambi si Pooch.
Jahan Jaye Chintu Miyan,
Wahan Jaye Pooch.

छोटे से चींटू मियाँ,
लंबी सी पूंछ।
जहाँ जाये चींटू मियाँ,
वहाँ जाये पूंछ।

Bolo kya?

Do You See It?

Jenifer and Jesica are having a conversation.

Jenifer: I am definitely not over 30.
Jesica: I am 28 and you are surely 5 years older to me at least.
Jenifer: No, you are at least 29.

You are told that both of them are lying throughout in the conversation. Can you find their respective ages?

A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

On the occasion of Diwali, online seller companies in India are offering a big discount on Iphone14 as below.

: Flipkart offers a Flat 65% discount
: Amazon offers a 10% discount over and over again.
: Shopclues offers RS.45,000 off.

If the original cost of the iPhone is Rs.70,000 Which is the best offer for you?