Solve below rebus puzzle?

You are on a Boat in the mid of a river. You have two cigarettes with you. One of these two you have to light, how will you light the cigarette?

What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat?

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Which is faster, Heat or Cold ? Explain.

I look flat, but I am deep. Hidden realms I shelter. Lives I take, but the food I offer. At times I am beautiful. I can be calm, angry, and turbulent. I have no heart but offer pleasure as well as death. No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have. What am I?

Until it is measured, not known. Yet how you miss it when it has gone. What is it?

The day after tomorrow will be three days before Tuesday. Can you find out what is today?

A man has eighty-one cows ( numbered 1,2,3...81 as such). The beauty is that cow no. 1 gives 1ltr of milk, cow no. 2 gives 2ltrs of milk and so on. The man wants to equally distribute the cows among his nine sons so that each one of them gets the same quantity of milk.

I am a five-letter word and people eat me. If you remove the first letter I become an energy form. If you remove the first two letters, I am needed to live. Scramble the last three letters and I am a drink. What word am I?