Your mother’s brother’s only brother-in-law is asleep on your couch. Who is asleep on your couch?

I come in different shapes and sizes.
Parts of me are curved, other parts are straight.
You can put me anywhere you like,
but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?

As a whole I am both
safe and secure.

Behead me and I become
a place of meeting.

Behead me again and I am
the partner of ready.

Restore me, and I become
the domain of beasts.

What am I?

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son.

Who am I?

Spelt forwards I’m what you do every day, spelled backwards I’m something you hate. What am I?

If your uncle’s sister is not your aunt, what relation is she to you?

I am the largest in my family of fifty.
The youngest of our family lives separately from the rest of the family and so do I.
I am regarded as harsh and tough.
I am so large, you cut me in two equal halves,
each half would still be larger than the second largest member of the family.
Who am I?

I am first found in caves, now prolific online; I am a depiction, a drawing, a symbol, or sign. I will convey whichever mood you could wish; or for that matter, a fist, flask, or fish. What am I?

You measure my life in hours
I serve you by expiring
I vanish faster when I am thin
and slower when I am thick
The wind is my energy
What am I?