Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

On the dull night when the blonde was dozing, she heard an odd clamour and she saw that there was a bizarre man with a gun simply outside her home. So she raced to the telephone to call the police, however, she can't dial 911. Why?

1 + 9 + 8 = ?
considering, 28 + 8 + 92 = 10

My sock drawer has 26 blue socks, 13 pink socks, 33 green socks, and 12 red socks, how many socks would I have to pull out in the dark to be sure I had a matching pair?

Queen Elizabeth organised a royal party.

To Avoid uninvited guest royal family set a password.
Jack (an uninvited person) plan to enter the party. He stand nearby the door.

First guest comes, the security person said 'twelve' and guest replied with six.
Second guest comes , the security person said 'six' and guest replied with 'three'.

Jack thought is enough and he walked to the entry point. The security person said 'eight' , Jack replied smilingly 'four'.
He was immediately thrown out of the party. why ?

Can you find out a way through which you can make five squares out of the given figure by moving just six match sticks?

You need to pick one entry from pot A and one from pot B to have a perfect match. Can you do it?

A Japanese ship was en route to a mission on foreign seas. The captain of the ship felt tired and thought of taking a bath. He went for taking the shower and removed his diamond ring and Rolex and kept them on the table. When he returned after taking the bath, he found that the ring and watch were stolen.

He called the five members of the crew whom he suspected and asked them what they were doing for the last 15 minutes.

The Italian cook (with a butcher knife in hand): I was in the fridge room getting meat for cooking.

The British Engineer (with a high beam torch in hand): I was working on a generator engine.

The Pakistani seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.

The Indian Radio officer: I was trying to make a contact with the company to inform them about our position.

The American navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.

Upon listening to them, the captain caught the lying member. Who do you think stole the valuables?

On a special event at the prison, 5 prisoners John, Jacob, Krist, Tang, and Dang given a chance to go to a sauna and can bring one thing with them.

Following are the things that the prisoners bring with them.
John: A soda
Jacob: Thermos
Krist: Book named "How to kill"
Tang: A Walkman
Dang: Harmonica

Since it is a Sauna, no one can see each other. After a while When the steam is switched, Tang was found dead and there was blood all around.
J Bond was called and he instantly come to know who can be the murderer. How?