Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

Jessica is telling her friends this story and asks them to guess if it’s the truth or a lie: “There was a man sitting in a house at night that had no lights on at all. There was no lamp, no candle, and no other source of light. Yet, he sat in the house and read his book happily.” Her friends say she’s lying, but Jessica corrects them and says she’s telling the truth. Jessica’s story is true—but how?

Why is the Hole below a Lock?

There was once a troop of 5 elves. The 5 elves were very dedicated on finding the magical treasure of 1000 coins. However, being elves, they were super geniuses, very greedy and they did not hesitate in taking lives of other elves. The 5 elves were named Aye, Bee, Cee, Dee and Ee, ranked from high to low respectively, from Aye to Ee. One fine day, their efforts brought results and they found 1000 coins. Now they had to split it in between them as per their ranks. The lowest ranked elf has to make the proposal. If the proposal is accepted by majority, it is agreed, or the suggesting elf is killed.

What proposal should elf Ee make ?

I’m orange, I wear a green hat and I sound like a parrot. What am I?

A beggar on the street can make one cigarette out of every 6 cigarette butts he finds. After one whole day of searching and checking public ashtrays the beggar finds a total of 72 cigarette butts. How many cigarettes can he make and smoke from the butts he found?

I was speeding and ran through a stop sign, yet two traffic officers who were there do nothing about it.

why?

You’ll find me on Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus. But never Neptune, or Venus. What am I?

There is an ancient kingdom where every married woman keeps information regarding the fidelity of other men. However, what they don't know is the fidelity of their own husbands. Also, there is an ancient belief that they don't tell each other about the fidelity of their husbands.

On a certain day, the queen of the kingdom declares that she has identified at least one unfaithful man in the kingdom. She allows the wives to identify and gives them authority to kill their husbands if they are unfaithful at midnight.

How will the wives manage it?

Which flower has two lips?