Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

You are in a room that has three switches and a closed door. The switches control three light bulbs on the other side of the door. Once you open the door, you may never touch the switches again. How can you definitively tell which switch is connected to each of the light bulbs?

I was speeding and ran through a stop sign, yet two traffic officers who were there do nothing about it.

why?

A bomb exploded in a room full of married couples and no one died. How?

Samuel was out for a walk when it started to rain. He did not have an umbrella and he wasn't wearing a hat. His clothes were soaked, yet not a single hair on his head got wet. How could this happen?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

What number when divided in half becomes zero?

The measurement of time, That can't be found on a clock, But can be looked upon on a map.

Who is He ?

The captain of a ship was telling this interesting story: "We travelled the sea far and wide. At one time, two of my sailors were standing on opposite sides of the ship. One was looking west and the other one east. And at the same time, they could see each other clearly." How can that be possible?