Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

A deaf and mute man goes to the train station. Tickets for the train are 50 cents each. The man goes to the ticket booth and hands the man inside just a dollar. The man in the booth hands him two tickets.

How did the man in the booth know to give him two tickets without even looking at him?

While house hunting in London, I came across a very good leasehold property Discussing the lease the landlady told me:

'The property was originally on a 99 years lease and two-thirds of the time passed is equal to four-fifths of the time to come. Now work it out for yourself and see how many years are to go!

A Shopkeeper sold a few chickens to four different customers on a particular day. It was such that each customer purchased half of the remaining chickens and half the chicken more.

Can you find out how many chicken were sold by the shopkeeper on that day if we tell you that the fourth customer bought a single chicken ?

When is the top of a mountain similar to a savings account?

What goes up but never comes down?

I can be cracked, made, told, and played. What am I?

Begin with a word, five letters to my name,
Remove the first and last but I am the same
Take out my middle and still, I remain.
What word am I?

I am a word of 12 alphabets.

* Alphabets 12, 4, 7, 2, 5 : Eastern beast of burden
* Alphabets 1, 8, 10, 9 are street made famous by Sinclair Lewis.
* Alphabets 11, 3, 6 are past.

On whole it means a person suffering from delusions of greatness.

What Is it ?

Manish and Manoj play 5 games of chess.
Both Manish and Manoj win the exact same number of games. There is no tie at all.

How?