Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

The captain of a ship is telling you an interesting story and then poses a question. He says, “I have travelled the oceans far and wide. One time, two of my sailors were standing on opposite sides of the ship. One was looking west and the other one east. And at the same time, they could see each other clearly. Can you tell me how that was possible?”

Akbar summoned Birbal out of anger.
He told him that he will have to face death.
He asked him to make a statement and if the statement is true he will be buried alive and if the statement is false, he will be thrown at lions.
After hearing Birbal’s statement, Akbar could do nothing but smile.
He gave him 5 gold bars and let him go.

What did Birbal say?

Fate has decided that you will only be pleased to meet me when you need me

Maybe that is why, when I am working, I start working

However annoying I may be to the regulars, the little ones are always inspired

I will always be waiting if you try to reach me

How many of you can guess my name, let me see

If I put in one bird per cage, I have one bird too many. If I put in two bird per cage, I have one cage too many. How many cages and birds do I have?

There is one thing that goes round the house and also inside the house but never even share a brief touch. What is it?

A bus driver was heading down a street in Mexico. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

John went to meet his friend Jacob, but when he was about to reach the main gate, John notices that Jacob had a mighty dog who was fastened to the tree. The chain is long enough that it allows the dog to reach the main gate.

How can the John reach the main gate?

Buy me, smell me or deliver me, I do not change.

Who am I?

Known by all without exception, Forever here, for your protection, Sometimes strong, sometimes weak, Right after the night I come - hot and chic. And while millions of miles away, I always get to you, I find my way. No life around could do without me, Can you guess what I might be?