Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

What does this Rebus Picture means ?

Keyboard words are not in alphabetical order, Why?

In the Wild West, you are challenged into a death match by two bounty hunters nicknamed Golden Revolver (GR) and Killer Boots (KB). You accept the challenge. None of you want to waste any of the bullet and so a certain rules are laid down:

1) All of you will shoot in a given order till the last man standing.
2) Each of you shoots only once upon his turn.
3) If any one of you is injured, the other two will finish him off with an iron rod.
4) The worst shooter of all (which is you) shoots first and the best one shoots at the last.

Now, how will you plan things if you know that you hit every third shot of yours, KB hits every second shot and GR hits every shot ?

My first is in chocolate but not in ham. My second is in cake and also in jam. My third at tea time is easily found. Altogether, this is a friend who is often around. What is it?

Three friends named Mr. Black, Mr. Yellow and Mr. Green enter a pub on a weekend night. They are wearing either a Black, Yellow or Green shirt.

Mr. Yellow says to them, 'Did you notice that we all are wearing different color shirts than our names?'

To this, the man who was wearing the Green shirt said. 'Wow, thats right.'

Can you identify who is wearing which colour shirt ?

A wife and her husband were driving in their car on the highway. All of a sudden, they ran out of gas. So the husband said to the wife, 'Now, you stay here. I will go down the highway to the nearest gas station, and it will be about 1 hour. Just listen to the radio and read some books, and remember to lock all the windows and doors. I will leave the keys with you.' So, off the husband went, and the wife first locked ALL the windows and doors. Next, she turned on the radio, and this is what she heard on the news report:
'THERE IS A MURDERER ON THE LOOSE. HE WAS LAST SEEN ON THE HIGHWAY, WEARING ALL BLACK, ABOUT 5 FOOT 11 INCHES. PLEASE, BE AWARE AND CONTACT THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY.' The wife got very scared. She turned off the radio and double-checked the locked doors. Then she saw the murderer, only a couple of feet away from the car. An hour later, the husband returned to his car. Inside the car, his wife was DEAD, she had been murdered. All the windows were still locked, and the doors. No windows were broken, and the car was in PERFECT condition. No scratches or anything, it was the same way as when he left it. How did the murderer kill the wife?

The more you take me, the more you leave me behind.
Who Am I?

One fine day, an intellectual man came to the emperor's court with the aim of testing Birbal's wittiness. In order to do this, he challenged Birbal to answer his question and hence prove that he was as intelligent and witty as he was said to be.
He asked Birbal, Do you want me to ask one difficult question or a hundred easy ones?
Since both Akbar and Birbal had had a tough day and were eager to leave, Birbal hastily told the intellectual to ask him a single difficult question.
Intellectual: OK. Tell me what came first into the world, the egg or the chicken?
Of course, the chicken, Birbal replied with a smile.
This time with a note of victory in his voice, the intellectual asked Birbal, How will you demonstrate that?
What did Birbal say?

I was born in a small house and I live in it all alone. No windows and no doors have been assigned to my house. The only way I can go out is by breaking through the walls of my house.

Who am I?