Decode this picture on T-Shirt and tell what it says ?

Below toothpicks/matchsticks indicate the group of fishes moving from west to east direction. Can you make them move from east to west by just moving three toothpicks/matchsticks?

Why did Navjot Singh Sidhu put the new January calendar in the freezer

A woman lives in a skyscraper thirty-six floors high and is served by several elevators which stop at each floor going up and down. Each morning she leaves her apartment and goes to one of the elevators. Whichever one she takes is three times more likely to be going up than down. Why?

A farmer and his neighbour once went to Emperor Akbar"s court with a complaint. "Your Majesty, I bought a well from him," said the farmer pointing to his neighbour, "and now he wants me to pay for the water."
"That"s right, your Majesty," said the neighbour. "I sold him the well but not the water!"?
The Emperor asked Birbal to settle the dispute. How did Birbal solve the dispute?

I have a mouth but I don't eat.
I have a bank but have no money.
I have a bed but i dont sleep.
I wave but have no hands.

Who Am I ?

I am sure no one can have two things for dinner. what are they?

Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men do ?

We have four gears with below features=> Both Gear A and D has 60 teeth=> Gear B has 40 teeth=> Gear C has 20 teeth=> Every two minutes, Gear B makes 25 full turns.What is the relative speed of Gear A and Gear B?

I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost every person. What am I?