A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

A Japanese ship is sailing in the Indian Ocean. The captain of the ship feels tired and decides to take shower to be rejuvenated. He goes to take the shower after keeping his diamond-studded Rolex watch and gold chain on the table.
When he comes back after 15 minutes, he finds them missing. There are 4 crew members on the ship and he calls them one by one to ask them what they were doing in that duration.

Following are the answers:
1. Crew 'A' who is the cook replies that he was cooking mutton for the crew members.
2. Crew 'B' who is a housekeeper tells that he was sleeping in his room.
3. Crew 'C' who is the engineer says that he was checking on the generator.
4. Crew 'D' who is another housekeeper says that he was correcting the hoisted flag that was put upside down.

It took only a couple of seconds for the captain to find the thief. Can you find the thief too?

I am dry when I go inside, but wet when I am pulled outside.
The longer I am inside, the stronger I get
When I am completely out, I am wet and I literally sag
Who am I?

What brings you down but never up?

I know a 5-digit number having a property that With a 1 after it, it is three times as large as it would be with a one before it.

Guess the number?

Distances from you to certain cities are written below.

BERLIN 200 miles

PARIS 300 miles

ROME 400 milesAMSTERDAM 300 miles

CARDIFF ??? miles

How far should it be to Cardiff ?

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Who always enjoys poor health?

Can you solve this picture maths equation?