There is something which is always coming but never arrives?

My first is in chocolate but not in ham. My second is in cake and also in jam. My third at tea time is easily found. Altogether, this is a friend who is often around. What is it?

At a bar, three friends, Mr Green, Mr Red and Mr Blue, were having a drink. One man was wearing a red suit; one a green suit; and the other a blue suit. 'Have you noticed,' said the man in the blue suit, 'that although our suits have colours corresponding to our names, not one of us is wearing a suit that matches our own names?' Mr Red looked at the other two and said, 'You're absolutely correct. What colour suit is each man wearing?

Can you write down eight eights so that they add up to one thousand?

In a picnic session, a footballer was practicing. During his play, he busted lips and ears and broke ribs and thighs. However, he was still able to play a professional match on the very next day.



How can this be possible?

When you say goodbye, I am what you need to tie.
I come as a couple and go wherever you run.
Who am I?

John went to buy some expensive, foreign chocolates. He only had Rs 100 with him. When he reached the shop, he got out and know that on those chocolates, there was a 15% import duty and 5% VAT.

How much worth chocolate should he buy so that he can accommodate it in Rs 100?

You have a roll of cloth 1km long. You have a machine which cuts this roll into pieces of 10-meter-long cloth.

How long would it take for the machine to cut the roll if each cut took 4 secs?

What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?

I was speeding and ran through a stop sign, yet two traffic officers who were there do nothing about it.

why?