You can win me and lose me but never buy me
You can not eat me and never want to part with me
I can make you cry or bring you joy
I am not a machine and definitely not a toy
You keep me but i am not forever just yours
You might find me in a case or on a shelf next to a vase
I am hard and i am tall if you bump me i am sure to fall
I am made of different materials and am at many events
If your lucky and fight hard I might be yours
What am I ?

He runs but never walks. Murmurs, but never talks. Has a bed, but never sleeps. And has a mouth, but never eats?

If you remove one from eleven, it becomes ten. If you remove one from nine, it becomes ten.

How is this possible?

While house hunting in London, I came across a very good leasehold property Discussing the lease the landlady told me:

'The property was originally on a 99 years lease and two-thirds of the time passed is equal to four-fifths of the time to come. Now work it out for yourself and see how many years are to go!

What will you call your mother's brother's brother-in-law?

There are 2 cops parked along a one-way street looking for traffic violations. They spot a taxi driver going in the wrong direction, yet they do nothing.

Why?

Outside a tattoo artist's shop, there was a signboard which read 'I make tattoos on only them who do not tattoo themselves'.

Reading it what do you think, does the tattoo artist tattoo himself?

A landlord calls both of his sons and tells them that their horses will now decide who will transfer the inheritance. He tells them to race along the land till the end and the one whose horse will be slower will win and be the heir to all the property.

Both of them keep wandering for days but to no result. Then they ask a wise man regarding it. The man advises them on the matter after which they jump on the horses and race as fast as they can till the end. Why did they do it?

What did the wise man say?

What jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?

John went to a parrot shop in Mexico, and the parrot owner told him that his parrot is so unique that he repeats everything he hears. John got excited and immediately bought the parrot. John went home and spoke many words, but the parrot does not repeat anything.
He went again to the parrot shop and complaint to the shopkeeper, but the shopkeeper never lied. Explain?