What goes up but never comes down?

Outside a massage parlour, there is a board that reads
"I only massage those who do not massage themselves."

Reading the above statement, does the masseur massage himself?

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

It was a dark stormy night and a couple were in a car driving madly to a city. The car broke down and the husband had to go get help from someone who spoke his language. He was afraid to leave his wife alone in the car so he locked the car before leaving. When he came back, the car was in the same state as he had left it but his wife was dead, there was blood on the floor and there was a stranger in the car. What happened?

Who always enjoys poor health?

A and B have a certain number of chocolates with them. If B gives one chocolate to A, they will have an equal number of chocolates. But if A gives one chocolate to B, then A will be left with half the number of chocolates that B has.

Can you find out the number of chocolates they have right now?

In a rainy season, one day 3 huge ladies walked under a normal-sized umbrella.
The umbrella is not huge enough to accommodate all 3 ladies yet not a single lady got wet. Why?

I am eight letters long - "12345678"
My 1234 is an atmospheric condition.
My 34567 supports a plant.
My 4567 is too appropriate.
My 45 is a friendly thank-you.
My 678 is a man's name.

What word am I?

I can be cracked, made, told, and played. What am I?

I have 50 feet long of cloth, I need to create 50 handkerchiefs each size of 1 foot. I take one minute to cut a 1-foot handkerchief. So how long will it take to cut 50 handkerchiefs?