Two guards were on duty outside a barracks. One faced up the road to watch for anyone approaching from the North. The other looked down the road to see if anyone approached from the South. Suddenly one of them said to the other, "Why are you smiling?"
A man was going to bleach his socks because they had gotten muddy the day before. As he was pouring the bleach into the washing machine, he spilt some on the floor. He got some cleaning fluid and mopped it up with a rag. Minutes later he was dead. What killed him?
One day, John and his friends were playing around. Jacob hit something with a Pin and it popped. John's dad came into the room that very moment, but he wasn't mad. In fact, he was smiling. What did Jacob hit?
I come in different shapes and sizes.
Parts of me are curved, other parts are straight.
You can put me anywhere you like,
but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?