What two things can you never eat for breakfast?

A Miser man decided to go on a vacation for a month. He goes to the bank and asks for a trip loan of $500. The bank officer asks the man that the loan can only be approved when he mortgage some valuable thing at the bank. Miser man mortgages his only car whose worth was a whopping $80000. The Bank officer laughed at him and approve the loan instantly. After vacation when the miser man returns, the bank officer asked him "Are you an idiot, why is your mortgage such an expensive car for such a short loan?".

Miser man replied with some reason and the bank officer agreed that the miser man is actually not an idiot.

What did miser man reply to the bank loan officer?.

When it is alive we sing, when it is dead we clap our hands. What is it?

There are people and strange monkeys on this island, and you can not tell who is who (Edit: until you understand what they said - see below). They speak either only the truth or only lies.
Who are the following two guys?
A: B is a lying monkey. I am human.
B: A is telling the truth.

100 prisoners are stuck in the prison in solitary cells. The warden of the prison got bored one day and offered them a challenge. He will put one prisoner per day, selected at random (a prisoner can be selected more than once), into a special room with a light bulb and a switch which controls the bulb. No other prisoners can see or control the light bulb. The prisoner in the special room can either turn on the bulb, turn off the bulb or do nothing. On any day, the prisoners can stop this process and say "Every prisoner has been in the special room at least once". If that happens to be true, all the prisoners will be set free. If it is false, then all the prisoners will be executed. The prisoners are given some time to discuss and figure out a solution. How do they ensure they all go free?

A charming young lady was approached by a kind looking old woman in a restaurant. The old woman said to her, 'You look exactly like my younger daughter. Sadly she passed away a couple of months back. Could you do me a favor and say 'Goodbye, mother' with a kind smile on your face when I leave?

The young lady agreed for the same and said, 'Goodbye, mother' when the old woman left. Soon after, she got the most disengaging shock of her life.

Can you guess what the shock was?

Can you find the 09 errors in the picture below?

I am white when I am dirty, and black when I am clean. What am I?

I am under you when I am whole.
I shift above you if you remove the first letter.
I come all around you if you remove the second as well.

Can you tell me who I am?

You have an empty wine bottle with a cork that has been secured at the top in a normal way. There is a metal ring inside the bottle that is suspended by a string.

How can you make the metal ring drop to the bottom if you are not allowed to touch anything - not the bottle, not the cork, not the thread and not the ring?