I start and end with 500 and carry a 5 in my heart. But I require the first letter and the first number to be complete. I am the name of a King.

Who am I ?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

Can you decipher these quotes by Albert Einstein?
Blf xzm mvevi hloev z kilyovn lm gsv ovevo lm dsrxs rg dzh xivzgvw.

Make eight squares by moving only two matchsticks.
Note- Square can be of different sizes.

Three men in a cafe order a meal the total cost of which is $15. They each contribute $5. The waiter takes the money to the chef who recognises the three as friends and asks the waiter to return $5 to the men.

The waiter is not only poor at mathematics but dishonest and instead of going to the trouble of splitting the $5 between the three he simply gives them $1 each and pockets the remaining $2 for himself.

Now, each of the men effectively paid $4, the total paid is therefore $12. Add the $2 in the waiters pocket and this comes to $14. Where has the other $1 gone from the original $15?

Can you find a five letter word that is left with only two letters if one is removed?

Joseph organises an exotic office New year party at the beach to his important fellow employees.

Following are the important people that will come to the party

1. Joseph

2. Joseph 2 girlfriends- Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes

3. The sales head Clay Vanstone.

4. Clay Vanstone 2 associates.

5. Mr. Jeremy and his Secret Tab.

They all need to cross a small river to reach the beach, however, Joseph has got just one boat.

There are few rules for crossing the river.

1. The capacity of the boat is limited to just two people.

2. Clay Vanstone associates will not stay with Joseph without Clay Vanstone.

3. Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes will not stay with the Clay Vanstone without Joseph.

4. Mr. Jeremy would never leave the Secret Tab alone.

5. Secret Tab counts as a person.

6. Only Joseph, Clay Vanstone or Mr. Jeremy can drive the boat.

7. The two girlfriends Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes will not stay with the Clay Vanstone without Joseph.

8. No Associates would stay with Joseph without their Clay Vanstone.

9. Mr.Jeremy will not leave the Secret Tab alone.

What does man love more than life, hate more than death or mortal strife; That which contented men desire; the poor have, the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves?

It comprises roots which nobody sees,
Much taller than those trees,
Up and up it goes,
Still it never grows?

On a windy rainy night , I was driving in my car.
When i reach the bus stand , i see three people waiting for the bus.

1. An old lady who needs an immediate medical attention
2. My Best Friend
3. Girl whom i love from childhood

My car is a two seat, so can you tell me , what i have done in this situation ?