I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.
I have one of the three numbers: 1, 2, or 3 in my mind. I speak only truth. You can ask me just one question for which I will only reply in yes or no or don't know. What question will you ask from me so that you are able to know the number?
A Japanese ship was en route to a mission on foreign seas. The captain of the ship felt tired and thought of taking a bath. He went for taking the shower and removed his diamond ring and Rolex and kept them on the table. When he returned after taking the bath, he found that the ring and watch were stolen.
He called the five members of the crew whom he suspected and asked them what they were doing for the last 15 minutes.
The Italian cook (with a butcher knife in hand): I was in the fridge room getting meat for cooking.
The British Engineer (with a high beam torch in hand): I was working on a generator engine.
The Pakistani seaman: I was on the mast correcting the flag which was upside down by mistake.
The Indian Radio officer: I was trying to make a contact with the company to inform them about our position.
The American navigation officer: I am on night watch, so I was sleeping in my cabin.
Upon listening to them, the captain caught the lying member. Who do you think stole the valuables?
What does man love more than life, and hate more than death or mortal strife; that which satisfied men want; the poor have, and the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves?