Which is the smallest number that you can write using all the vowels exactly once?

I am a type of word that is spelt incorrectly or used differently, on purpose for humour. What am I?
Hint 1: You can find me in a joke.
Hint 2: I am a play on words.

Lifeless eyes on my smiling face and watch your child's sleeping place. In their dreams they hold me tight. What am I?

We have arranged an array of numbers below. What you have to do is use any kind of mathematical symbol you know excluding any symbol that contains a number like cube root. You can use any amount of symbols but you have to come up with a valid equation for all of them.

0 0 0 = 6
1 1 1 = 6
2 + 2 + 2 = 6
3 3 3 = 6
4 4 4 = 6
5 5 5 = 6
6 6 6 = 6
7 7 7 = 6
8 8 8 = 6
9 9 9 = 6

Two friends were stuck in a cottage. They had nothing to do and thus they started playing cards. Suddenly the power went off and Friend 1 inverted the position of 15 cards in the normal deck of 52 cards and shuffled it. Now he asked Friend 2 to divide the cards into two piles (need not be equal) with equal number of cards facing up. The room was quite dark and Friend 2 could not see the cards. He thinks for a while and then divides the cards in two piles.

On checking, the count of cards facing up is same in both the piles. How could Friend 2 have done it ?

Can you decipher these quotes by Albert Einstein?
Blf xzm mvevi hloev z kilyovn lm gsv ovevo lm dsrxs rg dzh xivzgvw.

There is something which is always coming but never arrives?

Jim and Sarah are in a long-distance relationship. Jim buys an engagement ring for Sarah and wants to mail it to her. Unfortunately, the only way to ensure the ring will be received is to place a lock on the package. Jim has locks and Sarah has locks, but neither has keys for each other’s locks. How can they make sure the ring isn’t stolen?

Count the number of triangles in the picture below:

Women do it once a year after they turn 19 but men get to do it only once in a lifetime. What is it?