What will you call your mother's brother's brother-in-law?

What do you think with the below Picture ?

A thief enters a store and threatens the clerk, forcing her to open the safe. The clerk says, “The code for the safe is different every day, and if you hurt me you’ll never get the code.” But the thief manages to guess the code on his own. How did he do it?

2 ladies and 2 girls need to cross a river in a boat big enough for 1 LADY or 2 girls. How do they do it?

I am Huge on Sunday and Saturday.
I am small from Tuesday to Thursday.
I do not exist on Monday and Friday.
Who am I?

Thomas has missed an excessive number of days of school, so he must meet with Principal Davis. Mr. Davis asks him "Why on Earth have you missed so many days?" Thomas replies "There just isn't enough time for school. I need 8 hours of sleep a day, which adds up to about 122 days a year. Weekends off is 104 days a year. Summer vacation is about 60 days. If I spend about an hour on each meal, that's 3 hours a day or 45 days a year. I need at least 2 hours of exercise and relaxation time each day to stay physically and mentally fit, adding another 30 days. Add all of that up and you get about 361 days. That only leaves 4 days for school." The principal knows Thomas is full of it, but can't figure out why. Where is Thomas going wrong?

John drives to his office at 20km/hr. After reaching the office, he realizes that today is a holiday. He went back at an average speed of 30km/hr. Discounting the time spent in the stoppage what was the average speed of his journey?

I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What colour was the bear?

John bought a new car. He has a habit of eating ice cream from a particular ice cream shop while returning home from office. Whenever, he eats strawberry ice cream, he faces no problem. But whenever, he eats chocolate ice cream, the car starts giving problem. At first, he thinks, it is just a co-incidence but when this awkward incident happens for 3-4 times, he reports this problem to the company.

The mechanic of the company checks but finds no problem at all. The next day, when he stops by to eat chocolate ice cream, the car again starts giving problem.

Can you find the possible reason?

I start and end with 500 and carry a 5 in my heart. But I require the first letter and the first number to be complete. I am the name of a King.

Who am I ?